At last it was time to cozy up at home and focus solely on preparing for the big day. It was finally here. finally.
I baked Pumpkin Oatmeal Butterscotch Chocolate Chip Cookies for the gift baskets. Since so many people asked, I will tell you that all I did was follow the “vanishing oatmeal cookies” recipe under the lid of the Quaker Oats box, and replaced the raisins with Butterscotch and Chocolate Chips, and added 1 cup of canned pumpkin (to a tripled recipe.)
I wrapped presents for our wedding party and my parents…
and packed all my stuff with no help from my step-cat.
I found myelf feeling a little bit lonely in the couple days leading up to my wedding. I had a lot to do, and I was very independent, and Todd was very quiet and in his own world. I started second guessing my dress, focusing on my figure flaws, and wondering if I should have lost more weight, or come up with a different dress solution. I tried to remember what wise women friends told me… that this type of obsessive focus on the minutiae is never what is truly bothering you. In hindsight I think that a lot of what I was feeling was fear. Fear that all of this planning and excitement would not live up to my high expectations as has happened to me so many times in my life before. Without the distraction of lots of other people, I was left with a gnawing anxiety-driven emptiness.
However, finally when it was time to drive to Vermont, the landscape I have driven past countless times filled me with the same sense of calm it always does…however this time I was saying to myself, “Oh my God, this is the last time I will make this drive as an unmarried woman. I am getting married tomorrow!!”
Once I got to the inn, the guests started arriving. The kids were bonding already, and people began to acclamate and the energy began to hum.
Todd and I both started to come back to center, and emotionally connect with exactly why we’re here.
We went up to the church for our rehearsal, which was more exciting and hillarious than I would have ever predicted. When we returned, the dining room at the inn was set up for a beautiful welcome dinner for my family.
The night was an Italian feast filled with toasts, revelry, and reconnecting with loved ones.
And the many tears I shed throughout the weekend began with the toasts that night….
I have never been wrapped up in so much love.
And my husband, well my fiance at the time, spoke his words of love by actually concluding with one of the greatest quotes from one of the greatest movies of all time.
We ended the night with a bonfire and s’mores. The night time pictures came out kinda funky because of flash issues,
But here’s what the fire pit looks like, taken in the daylight:
It was hard to imagine that the with how amazing I was already feeling at the time, that the wedding had not even happened yet.